As a parent, each of us want to build our child’s self-esteem.  We want them to be confident and to believe that they can face the tasks of life.  The sticky part comes in deciding how to actually accomplish that goal.

After a conversation with a good friend got me thinking, I started making a conscious effort to notice and comment on the effort that The Bean puts into the things she does.  As opposed to telling her that she’s so smart, I instead make a point comment on how hard she is working at tracing letters, for example, and how all her practicing is helping her get better at it.

I want her to know that her effort is what makes the difference….It’s not the end product that matters at all.

Granted, it would be amazing to have a child who can play Beethoven’s 5th by ear the first time she sits at a piano, but her effort is what speaks to her character and her spirit.

What good is her ability to play the piano by ear if she isn’t willing to put forth the effort?  What happens the day she all of the sudden faces a task she can’t just automatically do?  What happens to self-esteem built on the ability to do something without effort?

It disappears once you fail at something.

And let’s face it, we ALL fail at something.

I don’t want her to crumble and give up when she faces something she has to work at.  Instead, I want her to know that doing her best and plugging away at a task makes all the difference.

I’m not a child expert at all.  I’m just a mom trying to give my child the tools to face the world.  You may have a different philosophy, but this approach Works For Me!

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